You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
