Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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