So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
