it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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