ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
