K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
