I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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