And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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