I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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