Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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