I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
