im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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