Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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