What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
