I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
