Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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