After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
