Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize