do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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