Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
