there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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