so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
