OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
