well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
