How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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