Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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