Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
