I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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