My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
