she woke up with a sticky ear
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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