sorry about calling you the devil all night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
