girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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