summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
