I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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