New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So squirting runs in the family.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
