Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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