The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
