yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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