My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
