420 ftw
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
