it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
