What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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