dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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