dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
