every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You're like the curious george of whores
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
