Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
