Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize