it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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