It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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