So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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