Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
