the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't deserve a penis
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
