I think i peed on brittanys purse
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
