Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
