saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
